Love and time—consider these concepts. How many on earth have ever considered love and time? Is there a connection? Is one ruling out the other? Are they incompatible? Love is forever, they say. Love is beyond time. Then how come people can fall in love when they were not in love before? They can fall out of love after having been together, sometimes for many years. How can love end, if love is forever or if love is beyond time?
It is because what human beings call love is not higher love. What human beings call love is so often possessiveness, a desire to own. What is the desire to own? It is the desire to extend something over time, for you live in a world where time has an ultimate significance. You know that your lifespan is limited in time. There will come a time when your life force runs out and the body can be sustained no more. Your soul must leave the body behind, and the body disintegrates. Oh, how many people have sought immortality in the physical body!
Why is it that people seek to sustain something over time? You may think: “But is this not a strange question? How could we not want to sustain something over time? If we meet another person for whom we feel a greater love, how could we not want to sustain this over time?” It is because your minds have been conditioned to think that the only way to sustain something over time is to maintain it in its present form. You think that the love you experience is dependent on an outer form, such as the other physical person. You think that the love takes a certain form, and whatever you feel for your special someone is based on the particular form and the feeling that you have with that person.
You have the concepts that this is the only one, the one and only, and you think that you could never feel that way with anyone else. You want to maintain that feeling over time, and you think that means maintaining the form, maintaining the other person, in a certain matrix, in a certain state. Some people want to tie that person to them over a long period of time, and this puts them in the mode of seeking to control the form, to control the other person.
Control games cannot be sustained over time
Time is not incompatible with love, but control is incompatible with love. There can be no true love when one or both partners are playing a control game. It is not possible to sustain that love over time. That is why so many people come together, experience being in love, and then, when the honeymoon is over, the love begins to fade away or is replaced by a control game.
Do you know how many times people meet and fall in love because they recognize each other from past lives? Why do they recognize each other? It is because, in many cases, they have for many lifetimes been locked in a control game with each other. They suddenly meet, and they see this other person and they feel this attraction, this love, and yet at the subconscious level what they really feel is: “Oh, here is the person that I can control, for I have done so in the past.”
In so many cases each person is seeking to control the other instead of being willing to flow with true love. When they meet, when they recognize each other, when they fall in love, their normal state of consciousness is set aside for a brief interval. They are so euphoric with the feeling of being in love that they can each set aside their normal state of consciousness, their normal control game.
Then, because they are not willing to look at the control games and transcend them, they cannot maintain the feeling of being in love for an extended period of time. There comes that point where the control games of both people start kicking in. Sometimes, you see that, after the honeymoon is over, two people can instantly shift into the control game and the feeling of being in love is gone. In other cases, it takes longer because their control games might be more subtle.
It may also be that two people can live together for a lifetime in what, from an outer perspective, seems to be complete harmony, but it is because they are both satisfied with the control game they are playing. They each feel they have control over the other partner, and they are willing to give up some of their own control so that the partner may have his or her need for control fulfilled. Therefore, they can live together in harmony for forty or fifty years, but are they growing? Are they transcending their control games?
Do people benefit from living together for an entire lifetime by being locked in a control game? Well that depends on what you mean by benefit. If you look at their growth in awareness, they do not benefit for they only reinforce the control game. Then they come back in their next lifetime and they find each other again, and they again reinforce the control game. In past ages you would see these people who had been together lifetime after lifetime after lifetime being locked in the same control games. For sometimes hundreds of years, they would hardly move up one step on the ladder of the 144 levels of consciousness. They were instead reinforcing each other in staying at the same level and the need for control.
Releasing higher love
Then, the beings of higher awareness who oversee the evolutions of earth took council, and they saw this particular problem and said: “What can we, then, do to help people move out of these control games?” The answer was simple. The solution was the release of a certain quality of love.
Love has many qualities, one of which is a very intense love that in color would be close to what you call ruby. It has the effect of disturbing anything that is static. It can consume that which refuses to change. It stirs up, it burns, it intensifies. By releasing this quality of Ruby Ray love, people’s control games were challenged to the point where they could not maintain their control games in the same way as before. They would have to either act out the control game in a more and more extreme form, or they would have to transcend it.
Of course, many have gone into this spiral of acting out their control games in ever more intense forms, and that is why you can go back a hundred years and see that the divorce rate was much lower back then than it is today. It is because people cannot stay locked in a control game for a lifetime. There comes a point where they cannot maintain their ability to live together in the same household. The conflict becomes too intense, and it cannot bridge the opposite polarities, it cannot balance them. They cannot maintain the static matrix of their relationship that in previous incarnations would have allowed them to live together for an entire lifetime. Now they cannot.
You may ask if this is an interference with free will, but it is not, because a critical mass of people have been willing to make an effort to move beyond their control games, and this has made this intercession possible. Many of you will know that you have had more than one relationship in this lifetime. Many of you have experienced that these relationships were very intense and that you could not maintain the relationship for very long. The reason for this is that you are the courageous ones who have said: “We want to ascend after this lifetime.” You have been willing to go through several relationships in order to have your control games stirred up to where you could see them more clearly and begin to transcend them.
Control games in relationships
Look at what is happening not only to the divorce rate itself but to the intensity of the conflict between those who do divorce. Look at how many times there is an intense conflict that leads to both people hating each other, maybe for the rest of this lifetime. You, who are the more aware people and who have said: “I want to qualify for my ascension after this lifetime,” you, of course, can see that this is not the way to win your ascension, to go into a perpetual struggle against an ex-spouse.
When you have an intense relationship that ends, the explanation is that the relationship contained a control game. In the vast majority of cases both partners have control games they are playing. Your partner may not be one of those who said: “I will ascend after this lifetime,” but that is not your concern. You are not responsible for the ascension of your ex-partner. You are responsible for your own ascension—if it is your goal to ascend after this lifetime. That is why you need to acknowledge that any intense relationship that ends in conflict exposes a control game in you!
It does not matter what control game your ex-partner had or has or is still outplaying. What matters is that, if you want to win your ascension, you need to transcend your control game. That is the only thing that will set you free from that relationship. Not only with that particular partner but potentially with many other people who are at the same level of consciousness and have the same control game. In many cases you will see family members – maybe even friends, co-workers, or bosses – who have that same control game. You attract people with that control game.
This is not to say that their control game is the same as yours, but there is usually an aggressive and a passive control game. Many of you, who are spiritual people, tend to be in the passive control game, and you have attracted partners to you who may not be spiritual and who are in an active control game that is the opposite polarity of yours. Again, it is not really your concern and your responsibility what your ex-partner does. Your responsibility is yourself, to transcend your control game, and the control game relates to this desire to maintain a certain state over time.
There are many individual control games. You can also look at the worldly psychology on relationships, and you will find good teachings on these control games. Yet behind all control games, and the specific form they take, is the desire to maintain a certain state on earth over time.
Time is an illusion of the separate self
Why continue to say “over time?” Because time, the sustainability of time, is an illusion created by the separate self. What is called the Conscious You, as the formless aspect of your lower being, lives in the eternal now. The eternal now is also called the River of Life where you are constantly flowing from moment to moment. When you are flowing with the River of Life, there is no need to maintain a certain form over time, for you recognize that any form is an image projected onto the base energy. This image is not sustained over time‚ it is projected from moment to moment.
When you are in the flow of the River of Life, you know it is not necessary to maintain a love relationship in a certain form over time. You know that in a true love relationship, you are both transcending yourselves. You are willing to let the specific form that your relationship has right now die so that your relationship, your love, can be reborn in the next moment, and perhaps be reborn in a higher form than before. Perhaps it is even reborn in a form that you could not imagine or envision with your outer mind. You trust that when you surrender to the flow of love, you will not lose, you will not end up with nothing, you will end up with a higher matrix of love. This is the highest potential.
Artificial conflict between men and women
In contrast to this potential is the entire common view of relationships, not created by Hollywood but certainly in this age reinforced by Hollywood. Well then, who created the common view of relationships? The manipulators did. They knew that, for life to reach its highest potential, men and women must come together in a true spiritual polarity where a relationship does not become stagnant but the source of continued growth and self-transcendence. They wanted to disturb that natural state by creating a conflict between men and women. This they have attempted to do in a multitude of ways.
Some of you, who are in embodiment, have in your Life plans to expose this manipulation, this deliberate sabotage of male and female relationships, and bring a higher awareness of relationships in the Age of Higher Awareness. This will come through many sources, from people with backgrounds in psychology, counselling or healing. You can reconnect to the memory if you have in your Life plan to bring forth this higher awareness, not only of the sabotaging of male-female relationships but of the potential for a higher form of relationships in the Age of Higher Awareness.
Truly, so much has been done. Look at the Bible, how encoded in Genesis are the matrices of the manipulators to create a conflict, an unresolvable conflict, between men and women by blaming women for the fall of men. What but the fallen mind could conceive of such a construction? Then, look at how the Bible in many other ways has institutionalized the suppression of women. Look at how other religions have done the same, even Eastern religions.
Look at how this has continued up to the modern day where you see the common dream that, if you just meet the right person, then you will live happily ever after. What is embodied in those words “happily ever after?” It is that you can maintain the form of your love relationship over time without transcending yourself. This – as you know from the teachings about the second law of thermodynamics and the flow of higher awareness – cannot be done. It is impossible. Nothing can be maintained over time. You can only transcend a former state and thereby reach a higher state, and you can continue to do so. That is what can be maintained over time, the continual self-transcendence. This is love.
The impossible dream of the perfect love partner
Do not think that higher love is static. There is no such thing as the perfect love that does not change. You and planet earth are part of God’s creation, part of God’s Being. You – even by interacting with the imperfect forms on earth, even by interacting with other people who are not perfect or spiritual – gain an opportunity to transcend yourselves.
Examine the dream of the perfect partner. Be willing to acknowledge yourselves as spiritual people. How many spiritual people have been in the situation that they found the spiritual path through some teaching or other, they applied themselves to it, but their partner in a love relationship was not willing to do the same? Surely, if this creates severe conflicts, it may be necessary to move on, but in many cases spiritual people move on prematurely, before they have learned their lessons and exposed their own control games and transcended them. They buy into the spiritual version of the Hollywood dream of finding the perfect partner. They think: “If only I found a partner who is spiritual, then I would have this perfect relationship.” But what is the perfect relationship?
You are on earth. Look around you. Do you see a perfect planet? Why then would you buy into the pipe dream that there is such a thing as a perfect relationship on such an imperfect planet? Surely, you have an inner memory that it is possible to have a relationship of a much higher nature than what you experience on earth. This is because you know there is something called the realm of higher awareness, in which beings do not relate to each other as human beings do on earth. This is a valid inner knowing, but when you mix it with the illusions created by the manipulators, you buy into the idea that it should be possible to attain it on earth. Therefore you think: “If I can’t have it with my present partner and my present partner is not spiritual, there must be another partner who is spiritual, and then we could have the perfect relationship.” But no matter how spiritual two people are, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship on earth because earth is a schoolroom. It is a process of learning, of growing, of self-transcendence.
The realm of higher awareness is also a schoolroom and is also a process of growing and self-transcendence. It is at a distinctly higher level than earth, but the mechanics are the same: self-transcendence. Why would you expect – as spiritual people, with all you know about the spiritual path – that you can find a spiritual partner, and then you have this Hollywood fantasy of a perfect relationship? It can never happen. It is an impossible dream.
You will qualify for your ascension much faster if you let go of it and recognize that whatever partner you have right now is your “perfect” opportunity to transcend yourself and the control game that you are currently trapped in. Why else would you have attracted that partner? Do not think that, by leaving this partner to find a more spiritual person, you will enhance your spiritual growth. It may be the opposite. Look at your control game and ask for inner guidance on seeing your control games. Ask the beings of higher awareness to reveal to you your control game, and you will receive help if you are open.
Be aware that seeing your control game can be very hard, especially when you are a spiritual person who might have felt that you should not have certain control games, that you should be beyond them. Be willing to be honest and recognize that you are currently in embodiment. Why are you in embodiment? Because there are things in yourself you have not seen. If you had seen and resolved them, you would not be able to maintain yourself in a physical body. You would ascend! So there is something to look at.
Higher love is unconditional
Do not feel bad about seeing something in yourself. Study some of the teachings that have said over and over again that higher love is unconditional. There is nothing you could ever do on earth that would make you unqualified to receive unconditional love. Therefore, acknowledge that the only way to be free is to see in yourself what you cannot now see. Be willing to see it, and then be willing to open your heart to the love that higher awareness is ready to pour into it so that you may experience, even in a brief interval beyond time that unconditional love.
Nothing can be more transformative than experiencing unconditional love. It is so with everyone who has experienced it and recognized what it is. You cannot experience unconditional love until you are willing to look at your conditions. If you are seeking to hide your conditions from the view of your spiritual teacher, then you are also closing your heart to experiencing the love of that teacher. This is a very simple psychological mechanism. You cannot receive love if you are not willing to see that which you think makes you unworthy of love.
It is such a subtle mechanism, inserted by the manipulators, where you think that, in order to receive love, you have to be worthy, and perhaps you can hide your unworthiness from God and still cheat him into giving you the love. You don’t need to cheat God into giving you love because God offers it to you every second of every day. You cannot receive it when you are not willing to look at the conditions, the conditions that the manipulators have made you believe will make you unworthy of love. How can any condition prevent you from being worthy of a love that is beyond conditions?
Taking on a control game as a service
Why do you have these control games? Surely your egos need the control games, but you are more than your egos, are you not? Why have you taken on the control games? Those of you who have said: “I want to qualify for my ascension in this lifetime,” you have all taken on certain control games in order to work through them and therefore help raise the collective consciousness and awaken other people to the need and the possibility to go beyond the control games.
Have you ever considered that you could have taken on a control game as a service? If you consider this, what would be the shame of acknowledging the control game, acknowledging that this is not the real you, this is not who you are. This is something you have taken on temporarily in order to blaze a trail through the collective consciousness by demonstrating that even a person who has been acting out this control game in a previous relationship can transcend it and move on. Thereby, you can demonstrate to others how to move out of these dysfunctional relationship patterns and move into a new higher form of male and female relationships.
You do not base your relationship on a control game that tears you down, that creates a downward spiral, that creates an energetic black hole that sucks your life energy into it. Instead, you build an upward spiral where you set each other free because you do not project onto your partner that your partner should be a certain way and that your partner should make you feel a certain way. You recognize that it is your responsibility to make yourself feel how you want to feel. It is within your power to take command over your four lower bodies and to invoke the light and resolve the beliefs that create this downward black hole in your emotional body that is out of control.
By resolving it, you bring your emotional body under the control of the mental body, which is under the control of the identity body, which is under the control of the higher self. This is, in a sense, the ultimate control game, but it is, of course, not a control game as the ones played by the ego and the manipulators. You are not seeking to control anything by maintaining it over time. You are flowing with the River of Life. You are allowing the old to die, and you are allowing yourself to be resurrected and reborn into a new and higher matrix every day, every moment!
This is the higher potential for the Age of Higher Awareness. Many of you will feel, when you look at your present relationships or your past relationships: “Oh, but there is such a gap between what higher awareness is saying and what I have experienced.” But you can come to see that love is self-transcendence and therefore it is possible to transcend any state and manifest the vision of higher awareness.
The forces of anti-love have done everything they can to destroy the male-female relationship and turn it into such a conflict that it is almost impossible for people to deal with it and manifest a balanced relationship. This, of course, is a worldwide problem, but it is not quite as pronounced in Europe. It is, however, very, very pronounced in America, especially in the United States, but also in Mexico (and to a lesser degree in Canada), where you have this very, very fixed view of how men and women should be and how they should interact.
This, in the United States, starts in childhood. It is fed by all of the movies, all of the TV shows, and even the common culture, even the high school game of the prom and the prom queen and the prom king and this and that. It is fed by the dream of finding this perfect relationship where everything just works out and it is happily ever after. Well, first of all, there is no “ever” on earth and there is no “after” either. You are always living in the now. If you are not happy in the now, there is little chance you will be happy in the “after” that never arrives—after all.
Realize that this is an illusion and do the energetic work for this to be cleared from the United States, the collective consciousness. Make the calls for the clearing of the suppression of women, but also the locking of men into a certain role of this “macho man.” The higher image of a man is in no way, shape, or form like the male image you see portrayed by Hollywood. He is not the superhero macho man that you see in the movies. A man of higher awareness is a very sensitive being. He is, of course, sensitive to all life.
You see, so many illusions have been created by the manipulators that it almost defies comprehension and description, but higher awareness will describe some of them in the times to come. It will find ways to bring this out through people who can work in the fields of relationships and psychology.